(no subject)
May. 10th, 2009 09:44 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
pyroyaleI was speaking with my Mother earlier and she told me that her next door neighbour is having an Ann Summers Party at the end of the month. She then asked me if I wanted to go.
Yes Mom. I'd love to go to a party where people pass around sex toys and test vibrators on their noses with you. It's the one thing I'd love to do more than anything and ranks just above poking my own eyes out with rusty nails and feasting on what flows out of the holes.
*shudders*
I finished reading the four Twilight books today. I can already see the collective eye rolls at that but I think the books are an INSPIRATION. They are proof that even the cheesiest Mary Sue author over at ff.net can get a publishing deal as long as they have a basic grasp of the English language.
The books are trash. Stephanie Meyer is a hack. The whole series is a not even subtle sermon about the evils of pre-martial sex and how things are so much better if you wait and hold onto your virtue.
And I couldn't stop reading them.
The first two are pretty much devoid of any plot other than Bella being plain and awkward and Edward being OH SO PRETTY AND THE MOST PERFECT CREATURE TO EVER GRACE THE EARTH. Of course he has his dramatic emo moments and always arrives to save the day.
The third book is slightly better in that it actually manages to find a plot - albeit one that pretty much revolves around Bella being plain and awkward (yet oh so special) and Edward being OH SO PRETTY AND THE MOST PERFECT CREATURE TO EVER GRACE THE EARTH. By this point plain ole Bella also has a werewolf named Jacob trailing after her like a puppy. Because he is one see? Subtle doesn't exist in the Twilight world.
The fourth book though... It's the crackiest crack fic that ever cracked. Either she ran out of ideas, was high or just decided to fuck with people because the first half is hysterical.
Bella marries Edward. Edward takes her on a honeymoon. Bella finally manages to wrestle Edwards 100+ year virginity away from him. Edward destroys a couple of beds (vampires = strong). Bella falls pregnant. Three days later she's showing. The baby grows quick and starts killing her. Dr. Vampire is out of town so Edward helps to deliver the baby. Caesarian section by vampire fangs
And I thought vampires couldn't get any crazier than Lestat feeding from a menstruating Nun.
I can't wait to see THAT on film.
Oh, and the movie is terrible. Robert Pattinson, bless him, has this perfect look of "WTF am I doing here" throughout the whole movie as he seems to have realised that it's trash and is purely in it for the advance to his career and the fangirls. I haven't laughed at a movie so much in MONTHS.
I'm so happy that they've FINALLY opened up the overtime at work. I'm in desperate need of a cash injection this Summer for... things (XD) but I was starting to think that it'd never come.
Yes Mom. I'd love to go to a party where people pass around sex toys and test vibrators on their noses with you. It's the one thing I'd love to do more than anything and ranks just above poking my own eyes out with rusty nails and feasting on what flows out of the holes.
*shudders*
I finished reading the four Twilight books today. I can already see the collective eye rolls at that but I think the books are an INSPIRATION. They are proof that even the cheesiest Mary Sue author over at ff.net can get a publishing deal as long as they have a basic grasp of the English language.
The books are trash. Stephanie Meyer is a hack. The whole series is a not even subtle sermon about the evils of pre-martial sex and how things are so much better if you wait and hold onto your virtue.
And I couldn't stop reading them.
The first two are pretty much devoid of any plot other than Bella being plain and awkward and Edward being OH SO PRETTY AND THE MOST PERFECT CREATURE TO EVER GRACE THE EARTH. Of course he has his dramatic emo moments and always arrives to save the day.
The third book is slightly better in that it actually manages to find a plot - albeit one that pretty much revolves around Bella being plain and awkward (yet oh so special) and Edward being OH SO PRETTY AND THE MOST PERFECT CREATURE TO EVER GRACE THE EARTH. By this point plain ole Bella also has a werewolf named Jacob trailing after her like a puppy. Because he is one see? Subtle doesn't exist in the Twilight world.
The fourth book though... It's the crackiest crack fic that ever cracked. Either she ran out of ideas, was high or just decided to fuck with people because the first half is hysterical.
Bella marries Edward. Edward takes her on a honeymoon. Bella finally manages to wrestle Edwards 100+ year virginity away from him. Edward destroys a couple of beds (vampires = strong). Bella falls pregnant. Three days later she's showing. The baby grows quick and starts killing her. Dr. Vampire is out of town so Edward helps to deliver the baby. Caesarian section by vampire fangs
And I thought vampires couldn't get any crazier than Lestat feeding from a menstruating Nun.
I can't wait to see THAT on film.
Oh, and the movie is terrible. Robert Pattinson, bless him, has this perfect look of "WTF am I doing here" throughout the whole movie as he seems to have realised that it's trash and is purely in it for the advance to his career and the fangirls. I haven't laughed at a movie so much in MONTHS.
I'm so happy that they've FINALLY opened up the overtime at work. I'm in desperate need of a cash injection this Summer for... things (XD) but I was starting to think that it'd never come.
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(no subject)
Date: 2009-05-10 10:28 pm (UTC)I've been putting it off because whenever they come up in conversation, people just tend to start hissing and crossing themselves.
They sound like comedy gold :D
Also, I squee'd like a girl over your Yousuke icon! :D
(no subject)
Date: 2009-05-10 10:41 pm (UTC)Heeeee, I ♥♥♥♥♥ Yosuke! He's my favourite character in the game. My social link with him is at least two ranks higher than everyone else, haha.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-05-10 10:44 pm (UTC)I know what you mean about Car Crash Syndrome - So wrong and yet so right!
Mine, too! So many people don't like him, though! I think my social link with him is at five or six right now.. Where as Chie and Yukiko are at like, three XD Oh well, he just shouldn't be so cute :D
(no subject)
Date: 2009-05-11 08:54 pm (UTC)How can people not like Yosuke? He's adorable! Chie kinda bugs me but I do like Yukiko. There's a few other characters that come in later but none of them compare to Yosuke *love*
(no subject)
Date: 2009-05-11 09:29 pm (UTC)I know! I love the little guy! He's so sweet! I almost feel guilt for spending all my time with him outside of school/tv land, but hey... So cute :D
I'm so stuck right now, too. Need to do some serious leveling up so Teddie doesn't kick my butt again -_-
(no subject)
Date: 2009-05-14 07:58 pm (UTC)The bosses in the first two dungeons killed me numerous times but I've done well since! I do think I'm a little over levelled though as I have this obsession with finding EVERY enemy and killing it, even if they respawn. I just can't run past them or leave them.
I'm a little upset that Yukiko is now at the same level as Yosuke. I've got all of the girls hitting on me and I just want to spend time with Yosuke :-(